


Like Tears in Rain

by xxxRIPLEYxxx



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Heavy Angst, Loki is a goddam mess, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Post-Avengers 2012 Loki, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Smut, Thorki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22804177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxxRIPLEYxxx/pseuds/xxxRIPLEYxxx
Summary: When Loki snatches the Tesseract again and takes off with it, there's one thing he has to do before he leaves forever. There's one question he desperately needs answered, and he risks being recaptured to see Thor, the only one who can answer it.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 66





	Like Tears in Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Endgame broke my heart. Thor never acknowledged Loki in any way, nor spoke his name once. Marvel destroyed their relationship completely; as badly as they destroyed Steve and Bucky’s. So, this idea has been in the back of my mind for a long time, even though I've never written Thorki. This is my first effort at it, so please be gentle.
> 
> I recently got a Tumblr account. I don't post a lot, but I'm always happy to talk about Loki, Steve, Bucky, Thor, or Geralt at xxxripleyxxx.tumblr.com.

“We _aren’t_ brothers. You know that now.”

Loki spits the words viciously at Thor, but then softens. He knows Thor did love him, at least _had_ loved him before...before _He_ got his talons into Loki. Before he was broken, twisted, and reshaped into a tool of conquest. Failed conquest, at that.He’ll pay for that someday, if... _when_... _He_ finds him again. That’s why he has to do this now, before he runs out of time and out of life. His green eyes lock with the blue ones of the golden God of Thunder, Odin’s favorite son, and he wonders what it would have been like if Odin had truly loved him, too, as he loves Thor.

“You know I loved you, Thor. First, as a brother, and then...something much more...and, now—what? I’m a monster—a Frost Giant.”

The name sticks in his throat and he can barely speak the words.

“I’m everything we were taught to hate. Can you love me still?”

Thor’s eyes are bloodshot; tears make tracks down his cheeks through the dried sweat. His hands are starting to turn purple because Loki has made the ropes too tight and he knows it. Even Thor’s strength cannot break the magic. Loki twitches a finger and the ropes loosen slightly, and Thor groans a sigh of relief.

“Loki...what is it you want me to say? I do love you, even now, after everything that’s happened.”

“Did you really believe I would surrender to you after your Avengers bumbled their way into giving me the Tesseract again? You love me still, even after I tricked you again? You were always such an easy target.”

Loki’s voice is hard, his eyes narrow, and his gaze is as sharp as his daggers while he waits for Thor’s answer.

“I was always an easy target because I loved you.”

Thor’s tears fall to the tile floor under him. His shoulders are starting to ache from his arms being stretched over his head, his feet barely touching the floor. Loki relents a little more, lengthening the rope suspending Thor from the ceiling so he can stand flat.

“And, you love _me_ still, Loki. I know you do. Why else would you have come to me? You could have gone anywhere across the universe, yet you came here to _me_.”

Loki morphs away his coat and tunic and brushes his fingertips down Thor’s bare chest to the lacings of his leather breeches, untying them.

“Ah, Thor...I wish...I wish...”

His eyes are shining with unshed tears, and his hands slide back up the sweat-slicked chest, palms grazing over hard nipples. His breath catches as Thor’s head tilts back and his eyes close, and the golden god speaks in a breathless whisper.

“What is it you wish? That I had touched you like _that_ —as a lover and not as a brother all those years, all those decades and centuries?”

Loki’s fingers brush Thor’s cheek and his voice nearly breaks.

“Yes. That _is_ what I wish.”

“You know I could not, no matter how much I wanted to, because Father told us we were brothers by blood. You know that is not permitted and I could not go against father’s wishes or Asgard’s customs.”

“Oh, yes, I’m aware. I remember, though, all those times in the baths, or when we sparred, or when your eyes met mine over a glass from across the table—you _saw_ me, and I knew—I knew you wanted me as I wanted you.”

Loki’s hand cups Thor’s face in a gentle embrace and his eyes are filled with longing.

“You aren’t wrong. I came back for _you_. I cannot stay or my life will be short and full of pain. I have to go as far away as possible—to another dimension or another time, if I can. I do not wish to die at _His_ hands, and I won’t give him the satisfaction. But, I had to say good-bye and I have to hear you say it—that you felt the same all these years. Tell me.”

The single word slips between Thor’s lips in a whisper so soft he’s not sure if he has said it or simply thought it.

“Yes.”

Loki sobs softly and kisses Thor on the lips for the first time in their thousand years of life. For the first time, they breathe each other in like lovers. His heart races and blood rushes to his head, to his groin, to his cock. Thor moans deep in his throat and his muscles tense.

“ _Loki_.”

The ropes disappear and Thor’s hands drop to his sides. He flexes his fingers to get the feeling back and one hand goes to the back of Loki’s neck, pulling him close.

“Loki, don’t leave me. I can help you; protect you.”

“No, you can’t. You don’t know _Him_ —what he can do. I thought I was strong and that I could fight him with magic and will and muscle, but I couldn’t. And even you, with all your power—you can’t win. He’ll kill you slowly in front of me, and then he’ll tear me apart again. If _we_ are gods, then _He_ is...the one who made gods, and he can unmake them.”

“Then, what _can_ I do?” Thor’s voice is low and hoarse.

“Love me. Give me something to take with me that I won’t forget.”

Thor’s grip pulls him in for another kiss, harder and deeper than the first one, and Loki feels his legs start to tremble, his knees start to buckle. He summons the strength to lead Thor into the bedroom and Thor does not resist. He had told Loki to meet him here, in his apartment in New York, and believed he could get him to surrender himself. Now, he knows that cannot happen. Loki won’t let it, and he understands this is probably the last time they’ll ever see each other.

_Please...no...All-Father, I beg you...let that not be true._

With a thought, Loki makes the rest of their clothes disappear into a pile next to them and he pushes Thor backwards onto the bed. His breath catches as he sees the perfect, golden cock begin to stiffen and flush dark, engorged with blood. He’s seen it this way before, a lifetime ago, when he and Thor were both with other people, drunk and needing to fuck. But, never for _him_ , until now.

“Thor, I...your body...you’re...perfect. You’re what a god should look like, and I know I’ve never told you that. I was afraid you’d think I was weak because I didn’t look like you.”

Thor moans and pulls Loki on top of him.

“You think I never thought about _you_? Different from me, yes, but perfect in your own way. All grace and quickness, lithe as a cat. You were in my dreams more times than I can count.”

Loki tugs him toward the edge of the bed and drops to the floor between his knees.

 _I’ve waited five hundred years for this_ , _and now it’s happening for the first and last time._

His hands grip Thor’s thighs and he leans forward, ghosting his breath over the sensitive skin of Thor’s balls and length, then inhales the musky scent. He can see abdominal muscles quiver as he kisses the golden cock almost reverentially from base to tip.

Thor is leaning back on his elbows, watching, trying not to squirm. Loki’s eyes meet his and he licks a slow, deliberate stripe up the shaft, pausing to flick a drop of pre-cum with the tip of his tongue before taking the head in his mouth.

_“Ah...Loki...”_

He pulls away, the wetness making a popping sound.

“ _Shh, Thor._ Let me do this for you. Let me worship you. I need to taste you—to feel you on my tongue so I can remember it forever.”

He sucks the whole length down as far as he can, not quite all the way. Thor is bigger than most, even bigger than Loki, and he has to use a finger and thumb around the base to cover it all.

And, the taste and the scent of him is almost more than Loki can bear. His own cock is hard and dripping now, heavy between his thighs, and it aches with need. He closes his eyes and hollows his cheeks with suction and Thor moans, not meaning to thrust upward so hard, but unable to stop himself. Loki has to stop momentarily just to breathe. He uses the moment to stroke the soft, sensitive skin behind Thor’s balls and to summon oil that coats his fingers. His middle finger probes and slides just inside and Thor starts to come apart.

_“Oh...oh, gods...”_

His back arches and his eyes snap open as Loki’s finger penetrates him, and Loki shoots him a quizzical look.

“Surely this is not your first time with a man. Is that honor truly mine now?”

Thor’s words stutter as Loki’s finger expertly moves across his prostate.

“Y-yes...it was never about _men_. It was only _you_.”

Loki swallows hard, nearly overcome with emotion. He shifts up onto the bed so he can kiss Thor, deeply and slowly, as he carefully slips another finger inside.

_“Oh, Thor...”_

His mouth moves to the corner of Thor’s jaw and he nuzzles aside the blond fall of hair to feel the pulse thrum under his lips. The strong, steady pulse of a god, quickening under his touch as his fingers curl to stroke the sensitive tissue deep inside Thor. It takes all of Loki’s self-control not to come right then, with this beautiful, golden god writhing under him and responding to him so perfectly.

Still stroking with his fingers, he takes Thor’s entire length into his mouth, using the back of his tongue to put pressure on the sensitive spot just under the ridge. He can feel the big vein pulsing as he sucks, and the God of Thunder is undone. He gasps and thrusts upward and fills Loki’s mouth with the taste of a god.

Before he can even catch his breath, Loki is kissing him again, and he tastes himself on Loki’s lips, the tang of his own cum a little salty and bitter.

“Trust me, Thor, and I’ll take care of you. I want to be inside you now, while you’re soft and relaxed. Just let me guide you. Spread your legs for me and put your knees up.”

Loki pulls the big, muscular thighs up around his hips and touches the tip of his cock to Thor’s perineum, then gently slides down and starts to push in. Thor’s breathing quickens, and even he doesn’t know whether it’s from anxiety or arousal. Probably both. Loki leans over him and his arms are trembling from the effort of holding back—going slowly and gently when what he really wants is the exact opposite—to take what he’s wanted for so long. He uses the low, hypnotic voice he knows has soothed other lovers, because he wants this moment to be perfect. It will never come again.

“Five hundred years I’ve wanted you, Thor; wanted to feel you around my cock, hot and slick and tight, and now...it’s even better than I imagined. I’ve loved you since I can remember, and now I’ll always have this memory.”

“ _Ah_...Loki...I’ve never felt anything... _oh_...like that...like you. It’s—“

Thor groans and his fingers dig deep into the sheets as Loki pushes in the last inch. They’re both breathing hard and Thor can feel the soft skin of Loki’s balls up against him.

“I’m going to move now. Tell me if it hurts.”

Thor’s eyes go wide for a moment as Loki’s cock moves nearly all the way out of him before pushing back in, and then his legs lock around Loki’s waist, pulling him in so tightly Loki can barely breathe. He laughs softly.

“You have to let my hips move at least a few inches.”

The pressure lessens slightly and Loki can see Thor is hard again. He’s trying to keep his eyes on Loki, but he’s panting and sweating now, and he moans every time the thick cock drags against his prostate. 

“You’re...so _big_ ,” Thor grimaces slightly and his hands wrap around Loki’s shoulders, fingers digging into muscle.

“Should I stop?”

“ _No_. No...don’t stop. It’s just—it’s new to me—it almost hurts, but in a good way. Every time you move, I feel like I’m about to come again.”

“Ah, so, not a bad thing, then. I’d like to move a little faster, if you can handle it. Try to relax and just look at me.”

Thor nods uncertainly, and Loki begins to move in earnest. Faster, harder, deeper—and then his thoughts fold in on themselves.

_Ah, Thor...if only I could stay here with you. But, I’m too selfish. I love my own life too much. Thanos cannot have it—and he can never have yours._

Loki touches Thor’s cock and it’s so hard again, it’s leaking pre-cum all over his lower torso where it’s curved up against him. He decides not to take hold of it because he doesn’t want Thor to come yet. He wants this to last and he wants them to climax together. Thor is so aroused, he can probably come just from being fucked, and Loki wants to see that. The memory of that will fuel his fantasies for a long, long time.

He’s dripping sweat onto Thor’s chest now and his breath is coming in ragged gasps. His arms and back are straining and his shoulders ache from Thor’s grip. Every thrust is torture because he’s so close, and he knows it will all be over when he comes, and then he will have to leave. He’s been here too long as it is and he could put Thor in danger.

And, then, he can tell Thor is past the point of no return. He’s going to come and nothing can stop it, so he lets himself go over the edge with him. Thor and him tumbling off the cliff together, a metaphor for their lives.

He whites out and when he comes back to himself, he is laying on top of Thor, who is gasping for air. There are tears streaming down his temples and he can barely speak.

“Loki... _please_...are you certain? I can’t lose you now... _please, don’t leave_.”

Loki’s tears mingle with the streaks of cum between them on Thor’s chest.

“If I stay, you’ll lose not only me, but your life as well. Possibly this entire planet and all these people you care about. But, at least we have this. It’s so much more than I’d dared hope.”

They stay that way, Loki draped on top of Thor, his fingers carding through the long, blond hair, quiet and unmoving for a long while. When the wetness between them dries, Loki whisks it away and stands up.With a twitch of his fingers, his face is smooth and dry and he’s back in his green and gold leathers. Thor forces himself to stand up, but makes no effort to stop his tears and he stands facing Loki, naked, crying, his heart breaking. Loki almost relents and says he’ll stay, but he knows the cost of such weakness and he cannot pay it.

“Never forget I love you, Thor, but find happiness with someone else who loves you, too.”

_I know I never will._

Loki motions with his hand and the blue cube appears in his palm. His eyes flicker to Thor and he’s gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Title reference: Blade Runner (1982) Roy Batty, the replicant, is dying, his short life as a clone coming to an end, and these are his final words:
> 
> "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”


End file.
